stranger to some and a vision to none [[Moses]]

[Scott Lakeman]

Scott had returned to his dorm room, and with the stress that had come from the previous days events, he had preceded to take a nap, change into his pajamas and and begin a new song. This was a very basic routine for Scott, but tonight there was a slight twist. The song was about Moses; the words poured forth like wine. It wasn't necessarily an angry song. . . .it was strong in emotion.

Scott was stretched out across his bed, lying on his stomach with the tip of his pen in his mouth. He was chewing on it, staring at what he had so far. Two verses, and he'd finally been able to decide on the final chorus. From yesterday, the fear. . . . He repeated the line in his head, then very softly out loud. It was unlike anything he'd ever written before.

He honestly couldn't tell what to make of Moses Calmer any more. He was beautiful, inspiring. . . .but at the same time he was bitter, closed off and cruel. He was the kind of person who was annoyed by almost everything; especially Scott Lakeman. Whenever he looked at him, he looked at him in love and hate, and his breath hitched just slightly. As darkness overtook the outside world, Scott stayed up with the yellow light, his eyes tired but filled with passion.

[Moses Calmer]

Moses was more a nightowl than anyone else that he knew of, he was supposed to have been back in the dorm almost an hour ago but had been sneaking off to get a smoke just out of sight of any professors who were on patrol. He really hated this place, the hallways stunk like cologne, the girls were all too snobby for his tastes, and he had to share a dorm with Scott Lakeman. Of those negatives, Moses wasn't sure which one he hated more. At the moment, it was probably Scott Lakeman.

A little past curfew, Moses slid into the dorm as silently as possible. He was only slightly shocked to see Scott still awake, pouring himself over another stupid, silly song. The thing was, the small thing Moses wouldn't admit, was that he had a slight weakness for a good song. He was a bit guilty of staying up some nights and just pretending to be asleep and listening to Scott sing slightly under his breathe.

The thing about the dorm that shocked Moses the most, was a small very formal looking envelope that was sitting on his dark pilow case. In an instant, Moses knew exactly who it was from, and he found himself wishing he hadn't come up to the dorm at all tonight. He wished that he had just gone back to the church and slept there, no matter how much trouble he would get into, it would be better then facing having to read a letter from his father when Lakeman was still awake.

Ignoring the other boy, Moses picked up the note with hands that were slightly shaking, turning his back to Scott when he opened the note up and read it slowly. There was nothing good in this letter, nothing good at all. There was nothing special about this letter, it was just that every so often when Moses received a grade that wasn't up to his father's par, he would get something like this. It was a letter full of insults at his intelligance, and the promise of a 'worthwhile punishment' when he got home for the Holidays. His shoulders were shaking slightly, they always did everytime that Moses received a letter like this.

He tore the letter in half, tossing it weaking into the trash bin next to his bed. His back was still to Scott, still ignoring the other boys presence in the room, and tears were still falling down his cheeks. God, Moses hated crying when other people were awake.

[Scott Lakeman]

Scott didn't really notice when Moses Calmer entered the room, so he continued to work on his song without the overwhelming sense of being watched that usually came to him when someone saw him at his element. He began to sing softly under his breath, trying to figure out which lyrics he should keep, which to cut. It was only when he heard the sound of paper ripping that Scott tore his eyes away from his notebook and saw him.

The stillness of him slightly scared the boy; anything that upset Moses to point of stillness and silence had to be bad. Only his shoulders shook, as if he were crying, or at least about to. Scott's eyes were empathetic, but he didn't say anything. Moses would probably just snap at him anyhow; he was definitely not Calmer's favorite person. With a sigh, Scott lifted himself up by his elbows and grabbed his guitar, which sat by the bed in its normal spot.

He felt very awkward, tuning his guitar and clearing his throat like a madman while Calmer was standing there probably sad as hell. With any other person he would have hugged them into oblivion; he felt guilty. Quickly he was strumming his guitar, his voice joining soon afterwards. He felt so strange, singing a song about the boy who was in the room with him right now. . . .he blushed just slightly. Moses, of course, did not know it was about him; but still. It wouldn't surprise him if the boy snapped at him to shut-up any minute now.

[Moses Calmer]

There was something about the words Scott was singing, and the tune of the guitar he was slowly strumming on that seemed to reach deep into Moses and calm him. He let his eyes fall shut for a moment, just letting everything disappear until the only thing there was would be himself and the song that he was hearing behind him. It always seemed to happen with Moses, whenever he heard a song that he liked, his eyes would fall shut and for those three minutes all that existed in the entire world was the song. Everything else faded away, nothing else mattered but the boys voice coming from behind him.

It was for only a second which Moses seemed to completely forget that Scott was the one singing these words. The lyrics themselves were so easy for Moses to relate to, From a concil of one he decides when he's done... Moses' tears stopped, his breathing regulated and when the song was finished he suddenly realized what had happened.

If there was anything in the world that would break down the thick sheild Moses kept up around himself, it would be a song. Any song really, if it was a good song his sheild would fall down. It was his weakness, that and singers. Neither of which Moses would ever admit to. Still, he tossed a glance over his shoulder and just watched Scott for a moment. The boy was a looker, Moses had never denied such, he just had moments of being an annoyance. And the kiss had been too amazing.

Moses pulled himself up from the bed, walking over, he sat on the other end of Scott's. He didn't speak for a moment, but there was something new in the air around him that even Moses could taste, something less bitter. "That's... it's a really good song." He knew something was off when these words fell from his lips, Moses hardly ever complimented someone, at least not when he was being normal, usually his compliments were very sarcastic. He ran a hand through his hair nervously, "I'm... I'm sorry, about what happened... Earlier."

[Scott Lakeman]

Scott's eyes glittered with genuine amazement when Moses sat down on his bed. The boy's eyes looked bloodshot, slightly tired, but God they were still as gorgeous as ever. The fact that Moses had just admitted he'd enjoyed the song was. . . .was unbelievable. The fact that it seemed terrifically genuine (he could tell when someone was telling the honest to God truth, no matter how amazing of a liar they were) was even more stunning. It was rather sweet, really.

When Moses apologized, Scott regarded him with a contemplative expression. It would be very cold-hearted and and stubborn to not forgive the poor boy, but at the same time, he'd told Scott to do the world a favor and just dissapear. That had hurt. . . .but at the same time, he doubted Moses had actually meant what he'd said. Scott had bugged the crap out of him, kissed him when he obviously didn't want it; that's the kind of reaction you get when you grind someone's gears enough, especially Moses Calmer's.

"Thanks. . . ." Scott smiled a bit, not making an attempt to move physically closer to the boy in any way. "Thanks a lot. I'm sorry I bothered you. I know I can be a bit of a nuisance. We just--clashed, is all." For a moment he considered asking him about the contents of the letter, but presently decided against it. It was probably personal.

[Moses Calmer]

Moses chuckled when Scott mentioned that they clashed, that was more then true. The two of them were extreme opposites, Scott was open while Moses was much more closed off. His lips were held up into a soft smile, something slightly geniune. Moses wasn't sure if it was the song, or his guily concious or something else beyond his control, but he felt guilty about the way he had treated Scott. He did that with everyone, but for some reason Scott was one of the few that actually responded.

Moses sighed, scooting closer to Scott without realizing that he was doing such. His eyes were focused on the floor under Scott's bed, trying to hide the redness that was still lingering in his eyes. He crossed his arms over his chest, trying to make himself comfortable. Moses couldn't help it though, he just wasn't very comfortable on a bed that wasn't his. He wasn't used to things that were new, he normally tried to ease himself into them but tonight Moses just didn't feel like himself.

He felt nicer, which was off, but sometimes Moses feared he might have some sort of Multiple Personality Disorder, especially with how often his mood was changing. Giving up, Moses laid himself back across Scott's bed, staring at the ceiling with his legs dangling off the side of the bed. "Dude, it's cool. I was just, I mean I am, gosh I don't know. It's so confusing that even my own reasoning doesn't make sense to myself, but it's just a reaction I've gotten used to. I mean, it's not that the -- nevermind." Moses found himself speaking as though he were by himself, uncomfortably comfortable if it made any sense. It was as though he'd lost control of his mouth, and it was running away before the words had a chance to even formulate and make sense in his brain. For the moment, his mask was down.

[Scott Lakeman]

Scott found the situation very strange but at the same time quite comfortable, with Moses speaking so civil to him. . . .having a real conversation with the boy was just what he'd wanted from the beginning. Sure, he was getting confused and jumbled up, but it was real, and it was pretty cute. Every teenager struggled to understand themselves. That's what adolesence was all about; finding out who you were. Gingerly, Scott lay down next to Moses, imitating his posture.

His hands on his stomach, rising and falling in time, Scott felt an odd sense of peace and new companionship. Not typical bosom buddies perhaps, but they were something. And that mattered to him. He wasn't sure what he even wanted he and Moses to be right now, but he knew wanted something. He wanted there to be long conversations, and some laughter. He wanted there to be honesty. He looked to Moses then, and realized how shockingly close they were. Arms were touching, bodies very nearly, legs almost.

"You're warm," said Scott absently. He barely recognized how awkward it sounded, for he was suddenly tired. A short yawned escaped him, and he grinned at Moses again. "I forgive what you said today; I understand. Well, I think I do anyway. And I'm sorry I. . . .y'know. . . .kissed you." Scott felt like his cheeks were practically on fire when he said this. He hadn't been sure if he should just let it die and never mention it again, or apologize for it. But apologizing just seemed polite. . . ."And I'm sorry I'm so awkward."

[Moses Calmer]

Moses turned on his side to face Scott, shocked himself at the nearness of the two. By his one small action, he was practially laying ontop of Scott, which made for a bit of an awkward moment between the two. Trying to ignore it, Moses turned and layed back on his side, not bothering to move away, he was actually comfortable with the nearness of the two, a slight warmth that was coming from Scott next to him. He found it silly that he sort of wished Scott would hold him again, just because no one had ever held Moses before, and he wondered how it would feel to be in someone's arms and know they wouldn't hurt you.

Except that thought was silly, there were no promises that he would never be hurt. Even Scott didn't know if he would never hurt Moses, he already had and hadn't even meant to, the fact of people that Moses had learned long ago was that no matter what everyone will let you down in the end. He didn't know what he wanted, Moses knew he wanted comfort, but he didn't want hurt. To him, relationships were like getting on a train and knowing that it's going to crash and it's going to hurt like Hell. If you knew the ending before it even started, what was the whole point in getting on the train anyway?

He sighed, a slight yawn, his eyes falling shut for a moment. If Scott tried to kiss him again, Moses knew he probably wouldn't mind. "You apologise too much, especially for things that are way out of your control. And the kiss, well, it wasn't the end of my world. It wasn't all that bad really..." Moses trailed off, glancing at Scott out of the corner of his eyes. Would it be worth it? Or should Moses just turn and leave while the door was still open? He didn't know if Scott would hurt him, or he would hurt Scott, but Moses was more then certian that someone would be hurt if he pursued what he found himself yearning for with this boy.

[Scott Lakeman]

Very shyly, as Moses turned on his side, Scott slowly put his arm around his waist. It was gentle, Moses could push him away if he wanted, but secretly Scott hoped that he did not. He smiled at the boy with sudden overwhelming fondness, contemplating the unspoken severity of the situation. They were physically and emotionally becoming intensely close right now, and even Moses turned about to be just doing this on a whim, then Scott would be left broken-hearted. But if this turned into something more, something serious. . . .

When he heard Moses's words, Scott giggled. "'Wasn't all that bad'? That's it? I thought my kissing skills were more satisfactory than that. Well, maybe that girl from seventh grade doesn't think so, but that doesn't count. And she had braces anyway." Scott laughed, shook his head. He was rambling on about shit that Moses didn't even understand or care about. There was a slight pause, and he continued, "If that kiss wasn't so bad, what about this one?" He leaned in and brought his lips to the other boy's.

It was gentle, less spuratic and rushed than the first kiss. It was slower, sweeter. It was pretty much the epitome of what a perfect kiss should be. He could feel the cold metal of the lip piercings against lips and under them, and it made him shiver just slightly. Calmer's lips were actually softer than one might imagine. . . . . Once Scott had pulled away, he cocked his head and felt his eyelids drooping, the sleepiness finally settling into his body. It had been a pretty long day.

[Moses Calmer]

When Scott slid his arm around Moses' waist, he found himself moving closer to the other boy, his eyes falling shut for a second when he felt Scott's lips move against his own. It was an interesting kiss to say the least, not as rushed as the first. The first time they had kissed Moses was angry, he was annoyed and at the end of his rope, it wasn't a good time to have run into Scott. This time, he didn't mind, this time he found himself returning it.

By the time Scott had pulled away, Moses found himself wanting more of those lips. Of course, he was a boy with hormones, something many people seemed to ignore, but he just couldn't. Not with pretty blue eyed boys who had feelings for him and didn't do such a good job of hiding it. Scott wasn't like everyone else, that was for certian, Scott had guts to push and push at Moses until he knew that Moses was absolutly murderous. While he was weak and sensitive, and the two had nothing at all in common, there seemed to be something there. The thing that remained and bothered Moses though, was who was going to be hurt by this? He didn't want to hurt himself, and oddly enough, he didn't want to hurt Scott.

Following the things that Moses had said to Scott, and the look that he saw in the other boy's eyes, Moses realized that maybe the two had something in common. He didn't know what it was, but neither of them seemed to yearn for loneliness. If nothing else, they could bond over the fact that they didn't want to be alone. A man goes nuts if he doesn't have somebody.

A small, and genuine smile crept across Moses' face, "Much better that time around..." His own arm snuck around Scott's waist, pulling him closer to where their bodies were touching entirely. The other two in the room were asleep, their words were hushed whispers in the dark. Moses leaned forward and captured Scott's lips in a kiss he controlled, deepening it as quickly as possible. He just wanted a taste.

[Scott Lakeman]

Scott giggled into the kiss, returning it softly as he allowed his tongue to shyly find the other boy's. A certain special warmth seemed to permeate the entire room, a cozy sense of home, as if suddenly he were safe. Not that he had felt afraid before. . . .if there was anything in this world for Scott to fear, it was being alone forever, and now that possibility seemed to be fading fast. The poor boy was a hopeless romantic; it's not like he was in love with Moses or anything, but was certainly infatuated, and that made his whole head spin.

When he pulled back, Scott's lips were slightly swollen and there were roses in his cheeks that hadn't been there before. Hopefully Moses could not see his flush in the ever growing dark. Scott still really wasn't sure what to make of all of this; first he's Moses Calmer's biggest annoyance, now he's his. . . .whatever the hell they were now. The poor boy really didn't know. He did not want to ask, because it would sound stupid. But God, he wanted to know.

Scott soon found himself cuddled (to be frank) up to the boy in a sleep, absentminded daze, content with the position. His head lay on the boy's chest, and he could hear his heart beat in time; the sound was comforting, peaceful. As silence filled the room, he heard himself say, "It's the weekend y'know, we could go out to do something tomorrow. If you want?" Please say yes, please say yes. . . .oh bugger, he won't say yes. . . .

[Moses Calmer]

There seemed to be something hanging in the air for a moment. Whatever it was, it was thick and it filled Moses with a sort of confusion. The questions that were running rapid in his mind were driving him quickly to insanity, his hold around Scott's waist tightened just from the frustration of not being able to figure out what he wanted and how he was going to get it. Mainly because there were a lot of things that Moses wanted, and none of them came as a package deal.

For one thing, he wanted Scott. For another, he didn't want the way that other people looked at him to change, he didn't want this side of him to be exposed to the world. He didn't want people to really know, though he may put up a mask that he didn't care Moses did really. He cared a lot, he wanted to be the one in control as constantly as possible. He wanted control over how he felt, anger he could control.

This new infatuation, it was beyond his control. He wanted to ignore it, but he didn't want to hurt someone. Moses felt his lips turn down into a slight frown, "I don't want anyone else to know, Scott. I mean, if we can keep it silent... sure, I'd like that." He was growing tired, Moses rest his head atop of Scotts that was resting against his chest.