Don't Push It [Scott]

[Moses Calmer]

There was something about the Abandoned Church just outside of the town that always drew Moses towards it. There was almost a magnetic pull, between the blue eyed boy and that mysterious building, and he followed it by impulse most days. Everytime he was given the chance, Moses' feet seemed to work of their own accord and he would almost always find himself standing outside the old church, looking up and admiring the beauty of the place.

The place was somewhat run down, the shutters over the windows were falling and hanging loosely off the hinges, there were cracks all throughout the cement that would have been fixed ages ago had the people who once owned the church kept it up and not run off. Sometimes, Moses found himself feeling so similar to this church, like perhaps if someone gave him a chance he could be beautiful. He didn't want to deal with that though, there were people in the world who were worth it and some who just weren't, he didn't want to face having to pick through the rotten ones just to find someone who would pain him. He didn't want to deal with someone who would, like the owners of this old church, get sick of him and walk away.

Once he found himself inside the place, it was wide and open. The windows along the top were uncovered, and beams of sunlight were shining down like ghosts almost and lighting his path up to the front pews. Moses followed this path, laying himself across the wooden pew in the front and allowing his eyes to fall shut. This was the place he tended to go to when he would prefer to be alone, not that his friends weren't worth it, they always tended to keep things somewhat interesting, it was just that there days when Moses didn't want to deal with any of that. Today was one of those days, it wasn't anything in particular just a lot of things that wouldn't get off his mind. He didn't want to talk with anyone, and Moses knew that not a lot of people would willingly walk into the Abandoned Church.

He beleived then, that the church was the perfect place he could go if he wanted to be alone. As he lay with his hands folded neatly over his stomach and his eyes fluttering shut, Moses was sure no one would interuppt his solitude.

[Scott Lakeman]

If you asked Scott Lakeman, inspiration could be found anywhere. It could come from the most traumatic and eventful memories of childhood, or something as simple as watching your mum pour a bowl of cornflakes for breakfast. There was an odd sort of beauty in everything around him, and though it may be hard to spot at first, with a curious eye and open mind, it was possible to find that beauty in everything and everyone. It just sat there hiding, waiting for someone to prompt it out and show itself.

The abandoned church. . . .it was pretty simple to find beauty there. Scott wasn't much of a believer or anything, but for some reason he found whenever he stepped foot into a church, presently he was sated in those most peaceful, almost ethereal way. He could always think in a place such as a church. He thought about everything. Mice and men, love, music, war, science, everything. It all confused and amazed him at the same time. He thought about magic, or his family. For a singer-songwriter, an old worn down church could be a eutopia of sorts.

Today Scott had brought a pen and small notebook with him, just in case the words began to pour as if from the sky, just like they often did. Their was sunlight caressing the boy's face, and silently he hoped his already smudged eyeliner wouldn't sweat off. His lips were slightly parted, and as he stared fondly up at the painting of the lion and the lamb that hung above him, but soon his eyes spotted somethign that rather startled him.

Scott smiled shyly at the boy, though his eyes were closed. He looked serene, though with the firm frown of someone who had suffered much in the past. "I didn't know anyone else came here. . . ."

[Moses Calmer]

His mind had wandered off, so when the large door of the church opened and shut with that normal creaking souond, Moses didn't hear it. His eyes remained shut, slowly he found himself beginning to doze off just so, everything about the world around him was fading off into almost absolutly nothing at all. The corners of his lips were down into a relaxed frown, and his heart beat was gaining a slow and steady tempo as Moses began to drift into a light slumber.

The serenity that had taken over the air however was quickly shaken by the sound of someone else speaking. Though Moses didn't spend a lot of time memorizing the sounds of people's voices, this was one he recognized only because the two shared a dorm together. As far as the dorming went, Moses had a tendancy to make himself as invisable as possible, he simply wanted nothing to do with the other blokes in the room. Still, this voice he recognized as belonging to Scott Lakeman. Moses didn't like Scott Lakeman.

Without opening his eyes, Moses spoke, "No one is supposed to come here, this is private property. You're trespassing, Lakeman. You could get into a lot of trouble for that." His lips didn't form any sort of smirk, Moses' entire face remained completely relaxed and totally devoid of any emotion. He didn't even bother to open his eyes and look at the boy, Moses remained appearing as though he were fully asleep, though Scott had woke him up with his bloody speaking. Moses would have been totally contempt if Lakeman would have just ignored him, did the fool have to just strike up a conversation when he should know pretty well that Moses did not wish for any such thing? Idiot.

[Scott Lakeman]

Scott's brow furrowed just slightly. After such a snide comment, anyone else would have just taken the hint and left Calmer to himself. But you see, Scott Lakeman was not any ordinary average person. What Scott did was, he decided to horse around with the poor boy. He was a bit lonely anyway, and to tell the truth, Moses was someone who fascinated him. He was reserved and cynical, a bit bitter at times, and Scott wanted to know why. Pyscoanalyze the boy.

Moses Calmer was. . . .to be blunt, he was gorgeous. Ice blue eyes, dark chocolate hair, a slender physique and full lips. In short, Scott was actually quite attracted to the mysterious boy. He'd already found the external beauty of him, but now it was time to find the internal beauty. The other boys at school disliked Calmer; they either were scared silly of him or thought he was a mean freak. The girls swooned over him, but knew they didn't stand chance at the same time. Scott thought it was surely his mission to discover the real Moses Calmer, because it was rather plain to him that he was hiding quite a lot.

So, the dark haired boy sat himself next to Moses on the pew, leaned over a bit so it would be impossible to ignore him. "Tell me the story of your fascinating life, Calmer m'boy," he said. "Give me the history of your goddamn life. How are you? Having a nice little nap?" Scott's voice was completely monotone; strictly buisness. He wore no amused smile, and no laughter found it's way to his words. He was doing a bang-up job, if you asked him.

[Moses Calmer]

There was a short moment of complete silence, a moment where the only thing that Moses heard which let him know that Lakeman obviously hadn't gotten the hint and was still in the church was the soft rustling of feet on carpet, and the pages of that stupid little notebook the boy seemed to carry with him everywhere. On the first day that the two had been roomed together, Moses had looked right at Scott and knew in an instant where the kid was going. They weren't going to get along, from the moment Moses first laid eyes on Lakeman he knew that the two were polar opposites.

He thought, perhaps a bit stupid of him as it was, that Scott Lakeman would at least have the common sense and know when to just leave an irritated resting bear alone, and that it's not exactly wise to push buttons when you've already been warned otherwise.

Lakeman spoke, it almost seemed like he was trying to mock Moses though he wasn't doing a very good job of it at all. The thing that was most shocking was that not only had Lakeman stayed, but when Moses opened his eyes there was hardly a full foot between the two. "You are too close for my comfort, back up." Before Lakeman could have the chance to do so, Moses pushed him backwards a bit harsher then needed really, and pulled himself up into a sitting position.

For a short second, he just glared at Scott, leaning forward and resting on his knees. Finally, Moses decided to speak, if he were up to it he'd leave the thing was that Moses was here first, and he wasn't about to give it up for some dweeb. "You want my life story? Okay, I was born on a farm out in Missouri, I raised pigs with my mom and all of my 8 siblings. On Sundays we all went to church, holding hands and singing happy songs. Fridays, we like to pick flowers and give our clothes to the needy." Moses' lips twitched up into a slightly amused smirk, his tone was completely sarcastic. There was no way on this green earth he would ever dream of telling Lakeman what his life was really like.

[Scott Lakeman]

Scott chuckled a bit, folded his arms across his chest. Even Moses's voice was sexy, but every word that came from his mouth dripped with crude sarcasm. Now, Scott Lakeman was no idiot, he knew very well that Moses didn't like him. He made it no big secret. Really the boy seemed to dislike basically everybody. . . .he had a few friends, but it wasn't like a typical friendship. Moses was easily annoyed, which was exactly why Scott was being precisely that right now: an annoyance.

"Really? Fan-f***ing-tastic. This is great. . . ." Scott presently whipped out his pen and was recording notes into his notebook, his mouth hung open as it always did when he wrote. "Farm. . . .Missouri. . . .eight kids. . . .happy. . . .yupp, I got it all. Mmkay, so Moses, boxers or briefs? Liberal or conservative? How d'you feel about midgets?" Again, Scott's tone was serious as ever, no trace of amusement whatsoever. He peered up from the paper and into Calmer's eyes, which gave him a surreal feeling of drowning into a pool. He shuddered slightly.

Truthfully, he saw this as going either ways: either Moses could become extremely aggravated and start some sort of fight, in which case Scott was absolutely screwed because he was a total pacifist and would be pummeled, or he could ignore him entirely and Scott would never get to know who he really was. Actually, the second situation would probably upset the boy more. Bruises heal, but curiosity was almost impossible to cure.

[Moses Calmer]

Moses was watching Scott out of the corner of his eye, trying to measure what the kid was doing. There were a few things that were really beginning to irk him, one mostly being the fact that Lakeman was mocking him, he wasn't even attempting to hide it at all. It was plain as day that Moses was being mocked, and he decided that Scott more than likely had a death wish. It wasn't like some major secret that Moses was a very violent person who wouldn't hesitate for more than a second to attack someone.

He narrowed his eyes at Lakeman, who looked more like he was doing an interveiw for the school newspaper, or was trying to annoy Moses. Well, if annoyance is what he wants he's not getting it. Moses wasn't about to allow the kid the pleasure of knowing that he had managed to bother Moses, instead he turned his body and crossed his legs as though this conversation was really interesting to him. If there was one thing that Moses had inheritated from his father, it was his wonderful lying abilities.

"Breifs actually, Too liberal for my own good, and I haven't a single opinon about midgets. Unless you classify yourself as a midget, in which case they can all go jump off a building." His lips twitched up into a proud smirk, bright eyes dancing with this new game.

[Scott Lakeman]

"Briefs, really? May I see?" Scott's brow arched up a bit. "Y'know, for editorial purposes, of course. . . ." Scott smiled faintly at the insult strung along the end of Moses's comment, simply soaking it in and not getting too defensive. "Well, since we're about the same height, if I'm a midget then you must be one too. So if you jump, I jump." So cheesy Lakeman, so very cheesy and oh so tasteless. You're a terrible flirt. Scott made like he was writing something down for a good minute or so, then continued lightly, "May I write something about your eyes? Very brief, not too corny. . . .but they are gorgeous, you know. Are they really that color?"

Actually, that last question was an authentic one. Scott had wondered for a long time if Moses wore contacts or something, because damn, he'd never seen blue like that. His entire family had "piercing" blue eyes, himself included, but Calmer's were something else. They made the poor boy practically melt. Scott pushed himself a bit closer to Moses then; personal space be damned. He didn't care if he invaded Calmer's personal bubble anymore, so long as he could look into those eyes. . . .

He could very well write an entire song about those eyes, he reckoned. Actually, he could probably write an entire song about Moses himself. He was very inspirational, if you asked Scott. An absolute muse to any sort of artist. His stunning looks, his quiet personality. . . .Scott felt a bit sad for him, actually. It was easy to see that something made Moses afraid to tell the truth. He was the world's greatest liar; he could go on for hours. Scott was a bit gullible, truthfully. It was hard for him to tell if he and Moses were opposites attract, or opposites conflict.

[Moses Calmer]

This kid can't make up his mind, can he? When Scott began to compliment Moses, he just arched his eyebrow a bit and looked at the other boy as though he had lost his mind completely. "Yes, my eyes are this blue. No, you're never going to see my underwear for whatever purposes." His words were short and to the point, his tone very no-nonsense. Moses rolled his eyes, leaning his weight against the arm rest of the pew that he was being forced to share with Scott Lakeman.

It was when Moses was beginning to regain a small amount of comfort, even with Lakeman there which should have been a feat in itself, that the other boy moved forward and was staring directly into Moses' eyes. His lips turned up into a digusted sneer, though now he was pretty sure that he had something to hold over Lakeman's head later on when he needed amunition.

Moses was sure of a way that he could get Lakeman to just leave him alone already. He didn't want to deal with this freak, who obviously had some silly crush on him for one reason or another. Honestly, Moses didn't see the attraction, sure he was good looking but he wouldn't be worth anything in a relationship.

His sneer turned down into a light smirk, full of false flirtation, leaning forward towards Scott slowly. He turned his head just to the side, his eyes slowly flickering between lips and eyes, actting as though he were going in for a kiss. Moses was just a milimeter away from touching his lips with Lakeman, sure that he could read the excitement in the other boys eyes, almost about to gag at the nearness of the two of them. Instead of kissing him though, Moses spoke, "How long have you had the hots for me?"

[Scott Lakeman]

Scott sucked in a breath. He was sure Moses could hear his heart beating, a rush of excitement flooding his entire body. He couldn't help it. . . .he knew Moses was a sneering, cynical misfit who probably hated his bloody guts, but for some insane reason he was leaning in and they were so close now. . . .those eyes were staring into Scott's piercing his soul and making his mouth dry. When the gentle words came from the beautiful boy, Scott flushed.

"I. . . ." Scott suddenly felt exposed, humiliated. He felt like Moses was now the one doing the mocking. His eyes were practically laughing at him. He wanted it so bad, though. He wanted to now what those full pink lips felt like against his own, pressed up against them in some sort of hate/lust, moist and warm. Moses had not backed away, and Scott could not help himself. He sealed the deal and kissed the boy, gently enough so he could pull away and freak out hardcore at him, which he probably would.

The kiss confused Scott terribly. He knew he had found Moses attractive before; certainly he had found him incredibly hot and rather endearing, but now after all of this. . . .he really didn't know where he stood. Crush, fascination, or simply artist's curiosity? Singers and songwriters were very passionate people, they could often find themselves tangled up in emotions that felt like love, especially with a muse. But Moses could never love him back, and that was no good muse to have.

Just a silly infatuation. It'll pass soon enough.

[Moses Calmer]

There was a warm sense of comfort in having someone press their lips against yours, but when it was an unwelcome act Moses didn't appreciate it. It wasn't as though he thought kisses were supposed to hold some silly, heartfelt meaning, touching lips and moving them just so didn't mean you were signing your name in blood to say that you would love this person to death for the rest of your life. No, of course it didn't. At least, not if you weren't standing at the alter saying your 'I do's.

The thing was though, that while Moses loves snogging random people who just wanted that harsh, angry feeling of snogging him in random corners, he did not wish to snog Scott Lakeman. Unless the bloke knew full well that there were no strings attatched, Moses wasn't going to follow through. Either way, if they ever did this, Moses would be the one to make the first move. It would be in his land, on his demand for his purposes. Moses didn't like to surrender will to someone else, in all aspects of his life.

So after a few seconds where he foolishly had returned the kiss, as though by some werid habit of course, Moses pushed Scott away harshly. He ran the back of his hand against his mouth to wipe away the feeling of those lips against his. His eyes were narrowed in as Moses pulled himself up. He stood over Lakeman, breathing heavily with his hands balled into fists. "What the hell are you trying at Lakeman? Did you think that just because you kissed me, I'd all of a sudden fall in love with you or something? I've got news for you, Lakeman yea, all that shit you write bout is just that; shit. There's no such thing as love, so how can we possibly fall into something like that? You're an idiot, Lakeman, a naive stupid little idiot. You must have the IQ of a 5 year old... why don't you do the entire world a favour, and just disappear?!" The words, the tone, they all sounded so familar to his father. Hell, Moses had even used some of the same insults that his father had used against him over the Summers. His eyes flashed a bit with the pain of that memory, his facade falling for just a short second. If Scott had been paying attention however, there was no way he could have missed that short second of total weakness.

[Scott Lakeman]

Scott stared up at Moses with wide eyes, his mouth hung open dumbly as he soaked in the boy's harsh words. Something settled in his stomach; an awkward feeling of rage, humiliation and and the feel of his pride being ripped to shreds. He knew he deserved everything he got; he'd been stupid, going on about all this with Moses when the poor boy had made it so clear that he wanted Scott to go shove it. He didn't know what he wanted, and that would probably be his greatest downfall in all of this. But the fact that Moses had insulted his writing was honestly what hurt the most.

Presently his eyes were tear-filled, though he blinked rapidly so Moses wouldn't notice. It did no use and they came back again, so he began to stare around the walls of the church, the paintings and crosses above him; anywhere but where Moses stood. He felt like a little girl, a stupid whiny little brat who had pushed someone too far and had been finally told out. He hated crying in front of people. . . .it made him feel weak. Scott knew it was more than okay to be sensitive, but the rest of the world seemed very ignorant of that. Especially with guys.

"You. . . ." Scott's voice was shaky, almost unrecognizable to his own ears. He cleared his throat. "You're a jackass," he said, truly believing his words. "You are a mean, cold-hearted jackass and I dunno why I even f***ing tried. Why should anyone bother with a prick like you? You're a waste, Calmer. . . ." Scott looked behind him to the door; it had never looked so welcoming before. He made his way to get out.

[Moses Calmer]

Scott's words meant nothing, this is what Moses told himself. Scott meant nothing, everyone insulted Moses, everyone strayed from his path. Everyone told him he was a waste, everyone made sure he knew full well that he meant nothing to them. In return, Moses had began to give them the same treatment, eventually that act had become programmed into his brain. It reached the point the only thing that kept him working right was the insults people sent to him, these words actted as a driving force that kept Moses working if nothing but to prove them otherwise.

Once Scott had run out of the church, Moses sighed and sank down to the pew he had been in. He didn't toss any second glances over his shoulder, but he couldn't fight the loneliness building in the pit of his stomach. It twisted, and it cut at him like a million sharp knives. His face remained blank, full nonchalance, all and act though there was no audience at the moment. Moses wondered if he was trying to convince himself now, or someone else. Some unknown being out there, some angel that followed his footsteps and gave him the way. Someone to help him part the red sea.

It didn't matter either way, the thing was that Moses didn't know how much more of this he could take. Of coure, it was an act that was permanet until the day he left this cursed school and found himself alone again. Always alone, never with someone, no one wished for him anyway. Those people he called friends weren't there for him, it worked of course because Moses didn't want someone to know his issues. It was somewhat common knowledge that no one should have to go through the world as alone as this, but Moses didn't want to have the wrong person at his side. He didn't want to have to fight through the wrong people to find the right one, so he didn't try at all. There was too much pain in that.

It was with a sigh that Moses regained his laying down position, hands folded over his stomach and eyes fluttering shut, and he slowly began to doze off again. This solitude, this was self claimed, this was who he was. This was life.